April 21, 2003. 10:02 at night.
There Went Peter Cottontail
Went to Craig's wedding this weekend in San Francisco. Highlights included seeing people I hadn't seen in ten years and being faced with the fact that my friends are losing their hair, which in turn makes me start to realize how old I am. Plus, last night I saw a commercial on VH-1 (or was it during Platinum?) and there was a female African-American singer featured and when Meggin and the Ess-Dog couldn't quite come up with her name, I asked "Was that Monica?" and they said "Nuh-uh you didn't just say that was Monica" and I said "Did I just date myself?" and they replied "Oh HELL YES." But anyways, back to my weekend. My friends are losing their hair, and I had the following conversation with my grandfather:
Gramps: Your girlfriend -- she's white.
Me: Yeah.
Gramps: Why don't you get a Chinese girl?
Me: Because I don't meet any nice Chinese girls in Los Angeles!
Yes, I too was impressed by my quick thinking. I guess I could've added "Not to mention, when I look at Asian girls I'm often reminded of my sister," which in essence is true, but I guess it was better I didn't say anything. He wouldn't have seen the humor in it (or probably been able to identify with it either) so what would've been the point, right? I was kinda pissed, though, at how old people can be such bigots. My mom said I should be nice to him because otherwise he might not leave me anything in his will. But if I did everything to please my family, I would've gone to school at UC Berkeley and I'd never have gotten cats. Well, here I am in Los Angeles surrounded by pussy. Take that, family!
The drive back and forth to the Bay Area was all fine and dandy -- right down to the predictable spots of traffic (405N where it meets 5N, 101S where it meets 85S, 5S at Magic Mtn.). I discovered the best ways to keep awake during a long drive is to either sing along with the radio or drive really fast (90-100mph -- or anywhere thereabouts that gets the adrenaline going a bit). Also, we saw the only car in California to have the license plate OMIGOSH. Never have I been more in favor of adding more characters to the California license plate, namely exclamation points!!!!! If there was one plate that could benefit the most from the addition of !!!!, it's that one. Did you know that in California, if you get a personalized plate you can have a handprint as one of the characters? Seriously. I want one that says "[handprint] JOB" and when the DMV asks me what the hell that means, I'd be like "I love to paint with my hands!" Or better yet, I could get one that says "I [heart] [handprint] JOBS" because I certainly DO!!
Aw c'mon. Fess up...you know you do, too.
It Hardly Matters > a
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