December 05, 2002. 12:16 in the midday.
Do They Know It's Thanksgivingtime?
Remember how I said I'd tell you all about my Thanksgiving? Well call me a big fat liar, because I ain't got it in me. You'd think that since I have all this spare time at the office with nothing to do, I'd at least be able to get my ass in gear and write something. Well you were sorely mistaken, friend. I am a Grade-A Slacker when it comes to pretty much everything.
I guess I can mention a couple of things, like how Meg's sister is lotsa fun, which makes me excited to meet the rest of her clan. Don't get me wrong, I was nervous out of my mind in the days leading up to meeting her. The whole family's close, and it ain't easy being the guy who lured the eldest daughter away from the family to the California sun. Meg's fam even appointed her sister Master Spy to collect intel on yours truly. Luckily I was able to keep my potty mouth under (reasonable) control, nor did she catch the remark I made about Meg sleeping over at my house (which I cleverly covered up by alluding to the fact that she just left clothing at my apartment). I made a clean getaway, though, and received the Sister Stamp of Approval.
Disneyland was crowded as all hell, and I managed to go on Pirates of the Caribbean twice. Next time you go, look for the one pirate with a beer mug leaning over the bridge that the passenger boat floats under, and as you're under the pirate, imagine how awesome the ride would be if that pirate straight up vomited on the riders. So cool.
Went on It's a Small World, which just keeps getting worse and worse every time. It's Christmas time, so the whole ride was decked out in Holidy paraphernalia. If I am to learn anything from the ride, I guess it's that the whole world can be broken down into racial-geographical steretypes, and apparently everyone around the world is really big on Christmas. What the hell are we teaching our kids? That China is known for acrobats, and that Hannukah doesn't exist. Not one single mention of Festivus, either! Shame on Disney. Shame on them.
Most importantly, I got to go on my all-time favorite attraction: Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. Boo-ya! It's a car ride where you tear ass around town and break stuff and run into animal folk, are found guilty by a judge for some unnamed offense, immediately followed by getting hit by a train, and then the ride ends with you going to Hell!!! It does NOT get better than this, especially for a ride designed for the younger demographic. I enjoyed it immensely. Yes, car rides designed for four-year-olds that end in eternal damnation keep me young.
My conclusion? Disneyland has quite a bit of potential to become quite a fucked-up theme park, were it not for the fact that it already is.
Sam also materialized in Los Angeles, and it was nice to see him for a short while. We did stuff like watch the extended verison of Lord of the Rings, visit Vinyl Fetish on Melrose, and go to the Apple Store at the Grove. I also saw a woman put her hair into a braid while she was driving.
So that kinda sums up my weekend in a nutshell. There.
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